Your connection to Oed is fairly natural and your transition sentences do well to signla to your readers exactly why you’re making that comparison. As I’ve mentioned in the margins, details about paintball would help this make sense to people who don’t play the game.
Using more active verbs and fewer ‘to be’ verbs would also make this much stronger, more interesting, and descriptive. Your readers need to be able to experience the story through your words. Pay attention to how you can achieve that through your descriptions.
This reads like you just stopped writing, instead of actually finishing. At the end, I’m left asking, “So what? What’s your point? Why should I care?” You can make that clear by explaining the significance of your story, Oedipus’s tale, and the connection between the 2.