Flat And Incomplete

You have the possibility of eloquent writing if you can keep a handle on how many sentences you string together with “and.” That’s where this could be improved: sentence pattern variety. You write well, but the frequent “and”s give this the feel of an early draft. The discussion of tragedy here would be more meaningful with quotations to point your readers to specific evidence of your claims. Without that, this feels a bit flat and incomplete.

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