Just An Introduction

Your explanations are clear and you’ve got a strong pattern of telling why you include the quotations and examples that you do. This would be stronger if [the character’s] character traits were tied more directly to the things we see everyday. A greater discussion of how [the character] exhibits all the characteristics of modern peer pressure or how [the character’s] persuasion techniques are just like modern ad campaigns would help. This reads like just an introduction to this idea.

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